January 2010

Understanding Manhood: "I'm Depressed!"
(excerpts from "The Ultimate Men’s Ministry Encyclopedia" by Jim Grassi )

Dr. Jim Grassi notes that over the past few years, men have become more open about discussing problems that they previously kept hidden from one another. He says that, despite some transparency among men, sadly, most churches have yet to spiritually and practically connect to those experiencing depression. Sometimes the answer to men’s depression is in understanding the spiritual nature of their failures. For some, by analyzing the past with professional Christian counseling, men can climb out of their emotional pit. But, for many, the problem is chemically based. Regardless of the cause, it’s important for leaders of men’s ministries to be aware of the fact that some of their men may be dealing with depression. Here are some reasons for depression in men:

1. The downturn in the global economy and concern for world problems has had its impact on many men who are the primary breadwinners in their families.
2. Unfulfilled expectations can also create a feeling of being “unplugged and unglued.”  Many men have acquired a defeatist mentality because they failed to reach a certain goal.  This can also add to the feelings of loneliness and depression.  The reality is that sometimes their goals were unrealistic for their circumstances, abilities, or gifting.
3. Some men feel disconnected from reality. They are so busy being “spiritual vending machines” of wisdom and spiritual truth that they do not have the time and energy needed to connect with their own feelings.  Families, work, church, community, and needy friends tend to pull on men’s “emotional handles” seeking to find the reward of truth and wisdom to apply to their problems.  Once again, depression can raise its ugly head in a person’s spirit as he tries to cope with being “super human” to those he loves.
4. Men tend to honor values and commandments that are logical and goal oriented rather than cherish the person of Christ. The “can-do” or “git’r done” mentality men have often leaves little room for trust and faith. Men are not comfortable with trusting the unknown and unproven. But men also know that the very essence of man’s faith is in trusting their Creator who is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-protecting, and sovereign. This dynamic tension can get in the way of honoring God and fully trusting Him for everything in their lives. It can add to the confusion and depression in their lives.

Grassi reminds us that a human being's chemistry simply wasn’t designed by God to handle the enormous stress load men tend to place on their bodies. The lack of serotonin and other God-given chemicals in men’s bodies can trigger significant depression resulting in a spirit of defeat. A good physician can properly evaluate the need for appropriate medications to help compensate for chemical imbalances. Having a men’s ministry that encourages and practices openness and transparency can go a long way toward recognizing men who may be dealing with depression, and being able to talk about their struggles can open the doorway to getting them help.

Read the other articles in this issue:

• Church Spotlight - Insight into a confidential Interview – Part One
• Men's Ministry Best Practices: Building a Men’s Ministry Culture that Serves, Succeeds, and Sizzles
• Leadership Development Ideas -Developing Emerging Leaders-When Leaders are at their best