January 2010
Church Spotlight - Insight into a confidential Interview – Part One
Once in a great while I get the chance to get past all the hoopla and get into a conversation with a leader that is gut-wrenchingly real. This interview, because of its transparency, is just that kind of interview. The name of the leader and the name of his church must remain anonymous, because in the world of Evangelical Christianity, the truth can sometimes come back to haunt us. I respected his wishes, and because he was willing to share some deep feelings, we can all learn from the inner struggles that leaders of men often go through. We need to pray for our leaders.
Due to the length of this interview, Part One will be covered in January’s Newsletter and Part Two in February’s Newsletter.
MMC: Greg, why did you agree to an interview and not want to share your name and church where you do men’s ministry?
Greg: Because, in order to be transparent about the things I deal with in men’s ministry, I don’t want to take a chance and unintentionally reveal the identities of those I minister to. If anyone at my church read the interview, they might be able to figure out who I’m talking about, which would be the wrong thing to do.
MMC: I respect that. Most of my interviews are with leaders who tell me about their successes-their programs, numbers of men that attend, etc. But you don’t seem to want to talk about that, even though you have huge numbers of men who attend your events. What’s your story?
Greg: Even though we have what seems to be a ‘successful’ men’s ministry, we have guys that are dying inside, and that’s where the real ministry to men exists. You can have all the numbers in the world, and programs that seem great on the outside, but if you don’t go for the man inside, all the programs and numbers don’t mean anything.
MMC: What kinds of things are your men dealing with?
Greg: Well, this will be sorta long, but here’s the bottom line: Men are so performance, image, and success driven that unless you reach them in their area of pain-that place that they are struggling, you won’t really get them. You can get them to say all the right Christian words, act in a Christian way, attend your programs and serve in some way, but they’re only acting-hoping in some way that God and other men will see their performance and make them feel good about themselves. It’s all on the surface though.
MMC: What tells you that it’s a performance?
Greg: The private conversations I get into with men. It takes a long time to get their trust and convince them that their performance, words, and behavior don’t matter one bit to me, but when they ‘get it,’ they open up. Then the flood gates open up. As long as ‘what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas’ they’ll be real.
We’ll conclude our interview with Greg in next month’s newsletter.
Men’s Ministry Catalyst exists to help churches pray, plan, and execute vibrant men’s ministries. We have the resources and coaching to help take you to the next step in your men’s ministry. Call us at 208-762-9216.
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