February 2010
Understanding Manhood: What is the Baggage you’re Carrying: The Issue of Men and  Pornography
(excerpts from "The Ultimate Men’s Ministry Tool Kit" by Jim Grassi )
There are some who wish to blame society for their behavior or disposition. Men need to find ways to take responsibility for one another and how men connect to others. Today, in the United States, nearly everyone has an opportunity to develop a dynamic vision for his life. Ethnic background, political affiliation, and religious heritage no longer pose barriers for those seeking to improve their socioeconomic status.
Since the beginning of time, man has been associated with dysfunctional families. Even God’s first children, Adam and Eve, failed at parenting because of a dysfunctional son, who committed murder and mayhem. Whenever there is sin, there is a dysfunctional relationship or thought.
Those who seek to blame others or institutions for their failures, are not accepting the personal responsibility that comes with being a child of God. The reality is, it is not the circumstances that consume men, but the lack of faith, positive attitudes, and personal responsibility.
Letting God Examine Your Heart
Lamentations 3:40 gives us this challenge: “Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40).
Reflecting on this verse, Patrick Morley observes:
And if men don’t hit their targets, the list of questions grows even longer. ‘Why me, God? If You love me, where are You when I need You? Why won’t You bless me? How could this happen to me?’ Our hurt feelings slowly give way to anger and bitterness, or fear and guilt, or some of each. After all is considered, the number one shortcoming of man at the close of the twentieth century (as it has been at the close of every century) is that men lead unexamined lives. Most men have not carefully chiseled their life view by a personal search for truth and obedience to God. Instead, men rush from task to busy task, but men don’t call enough time-outs to reflect on life’s larger meaning and purpose.
The Pornography Problem: What men struggle with most
Addiction to pornography has become an epidemic in America. A confidential survey was conducted among 350 men from a dozen evangelical denominations, according to Patrick A. Means in Men’s Secret Wars. Of these, 64 percent struggle with sexual addition or sexual compulsion; including, but not limited to, using pornography, compulsive masturbation, or other secret sexual activity; 25 percent admit to having sexual intercourse with someone other than their wife—since becoming a Christian; 14 percent acknowledge having had sexual contact short of intercourse outside of their marriage—since becoming a Christian. It’s epidemic and each men’s ministry needs to address this ever-growing issue and not skirt it because it’s uncomfortable.
Forgiveness Through Christ
Thankfully, addiction to pornography can be forgiven by the power of Jesus Christ. God’s at His best when redeeming sinners. And, God can do more than forgive—God can restore us from the inside out. King David was a man who experienced the miracle of redemption and re-creation in God’s love.
And yet God states, “I have found David . . . a man after my own heart.” How can that be? How could God possibly praise a man with this kind of background? Yes, David committed some sins that most of us can’t even imagine or conceive of doing! Yet over the long haul, David wanted to be righteous. He loved God, and his heart’s desire was to do God’s will. And do you know what? This is the kind of man God looks for today, too! God doesn’t expect perfection. (Men can sure see that from David’s life!) However, in spite of all that David had done wrong in his life, God could still look at David’s heart and say he was a man after His own heart—a man who desired to do God’s will.
Read the other articles in this issue:
|
