February 2010
Men’s Ministry Best Practices: Finding out What your Men Really Want
Avoiding Common Failures by Steve Johnson
I remember the first few times I attended men’s ministry meetings at my church back in Denver. I felt it was time to develop some new friendships and hang-out with the guys more than I had the previous year. It was sparsely attended for a church of over 1,500 men. It took me three meetings to figure out why, and after the third meeting, I stopped attending. One of
the leaders gave me a call to have coffee and talk about why I stopped coming. Since that conversation and others that I have had with men over the years who also stopped attending their men’s groups, I noticed a trend in their reasons that you might find helpful.
1. “I don’t know who’s on the council, who picked them, and who makes the decisions”
By far the biggest ‘complaint,’ many men felt they were led by a ‘phantom’ group of guys who evidently made all the decisions. They knew who the leader was, but no one else. It wasn’t communicated to the community who the team was, so all the comments or suggestions were brought to the men’s ministry leader, who said he’d bring it up ‘with the team.’ What team?
Solution: When choosing a leadership team, introduce them to the rest of the guys with a short bio that includes how long each one has been attending the church and the men’s group. Mention which particular aspect of men’s ministry each one has a passion for and invite the men to get to know them better-even take them out for coffee or lunch.
2. “No one has bothered to ask me what I am interested in”
This was a close second. It seemed that the plans were made, a schedule was planned, the speakers were picked, and that was that. Not one of the guys I talked to said that there was a concerted effort to find out from the men ‘who was interested in what topics.’ If, after a few meetings a guy doesn’t connect with the speakers, events or topics, he’ll decide that it’s more fun just to go shoot pool.
Solution: Make a big deal about surveying your men in order to discover what they are interested in and what’s relevant to their lives. If you discover topic trends in your men’s group, plan your events and speakers around those trends, and handout a calendar so men can see that their pet interest has been considered, you’ll increase your attendance. The men will feel they have been heard. By the way, Men’s Ministry Catalyst has forms that have been developed just for this purpose. Contact us and ask to see our tool box.
3. “All they do is have monthly breakfasts with a speaker”
Let’s be serious, here. A monthly two hour breakfast isn’t what constitutes a men’s ministry. It’s a breakfast. A full-fledged men’s ministry includes not only events, but connection groups that give men the opportunity to get to know each other over a length of time in a confidential setting. Authenticity and transparency between men doesn’t happen at a monthly event-it happens over time.
Solution: Your team doesn’t have to re-invent the wheel when it comes to figuring out how to structure a ministry that goes far beyond the traditional breakfast. Men’s Ministry Catalyst has a whole tool box of information that is geared specifically toward helping leaders plan and deploy a vibrant men’s ministry. Give us a call - 208-762-9216.
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