May 2008
Understanding Men by David Murrow 
(excerpts from the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church")
The Church is Out of Touch
A lot of guys find the church hopelessly out of touch with the real world - irrelevant to their everyday lives, stuck in the past, hypocritical, and self-serving. We'll examine these objections and see what we can do to battle these perceptions.
The Church is Hopelessly Out of Date; Men are Puzzled by Its Old-Fashioned Ways
George Barna, a researcher of faith-based trends, found that most people form their religious identities by the time they're thirteen years old. For many people true worship is what they experienced as children, so you can see why innovation comes painfully slow in the church.
We may love our old-time religion, but unchurched men do not. They are not loking for a trip down memory lane. Are traditions always a barrier to men? Not when they understand them. My suggestion: examine your traditions and emphasize the ones that are most meaningful to men. If a tradition has lost all meaning, discard it or update it for a modern audience.
Men Realize the Church Could Function More Effectively if it Embraced Modern Technology
Men love technology. Men are more likely than women to get excited about gadgets or spend hours with their machines. But many churches are wary of technology, and adopt it at a glacial pace.
Your church doesn't necessarily need to put a computer in every pew, but it shouldn't run from technology either. Technology is neither good nor evil; it is merely a tool that can help men (and women) understand the gospel. Bringing technology into the church does not defile it. A church that uses the latest technology to teach and encourage will be sending a strong message to men and young adults: we speak your language.
Men Respect Excellence and Quality; They Have Little Patience for Mediocrity
When men think of church, excellence and quality are often the last two words that come to mind. In fact, church has a reputation for mediocrity in the minds of many men. Men are turned off by amateurish music, worn-out facilities, and unkempt grounds.
If we're serious about attracting men, we must banish the phrase "it's good enough for church" forever. Churches that are producing fruit, growing numerically, and reaching men are those that pursue excellence in everything they do. Eliminate the "cringe factor" (when a Christian finally gets up enough nerve to invite his unbelieving friend to church, and then sits quietly cringing through the service because of the off-key singing, out-of-tune piano, etc.), and men will feel more comfortable inviting their friends. This pursuit of excellence is a balancing act: it takes a commitment to quality and the power of the Spirit to create the kind of excellence that draws people in.
Services and/or Sermons are Too Long
Men have shorter attention spans than women do. Studies show men focus more intently than women, but do so for shorter lengths of time. We've already seen how testosterone makes it harder for men to sit still for a long time.
The good news: innovative pastors are rethinking how they teach their people. THey know the lecture-style monologue is the least effective way to teach anyone anything. These pastors are reengineering the sermon, and their churches are growing for it.
The Church has a Scaredy-Cat Image
For years many evangelical pastors taught their members not only to avoid sin, but also to avoid things that might lead to sin. Good Christians didn't drink, play card, dance, go to movies, use tobacco, listen to popular music, and didn't associate with those who did. This overly cautious, extremely risk-averse posture hurt the church's reputation with men. Although most churches have toned down these teachings in recent years, the reputation lives on.
Most men view records, books, and movies as harmless. Over time, men get the message: to be a Christian is to be frightened. Men are reluctant to associate themselves with an institution that is scared all the time.
Don't misunderstand: it's good and proper to shield your family from negative influences. And we must stand up for what's right. But be very careful about public crusades against wickedness. Focusing on good instead of evil is the best way to combat a scaredy-cat reputation.
Read the other articles in this issue:
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