June 2008
Understanding Men by David Murrow 
(excerpts from the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church")
Leadership and the Masculine Spirit - Part 1
There is amazing agreement from church experts across the theological spectrum: it's time for laypeople to step up and take a greater leadership role in congregations. If men are to return to Christ, they need strong, godly laymen to help them in their walk.
Unfortunately, the church is experiencing a leadership crisis at every level. Many congregations lack vision, focus, and purpose. Without these things men fall away. But churches with dynamic, gutsy leadership are growing and attracting men. In the area of leadership, our churches desperately need an infusion of the masculine spirit.
If you want your church to attract men, you must put a high priority on developing leaders, especially male ones. Men are not looking for theologians, teachers, or facilitators. They are looking for men who will lead them to greatness. For too long we have asked men to follow our teaching, our methods, and our theology. Men do not follow these things: men follow men.
Great Leadership is Balanced: A Lesson from the Early Church
Great leadership in the church requires a balance between the masculine spirit and feminine spirit. The book of Acts records a crucial moment when the early church could have stumbled. Acts 6 (CEV) begins:
A lot of people were now becoming followers of the Lord. But some of the ones who spoke Greek started complaining about the ones who spoke Aramaic. They complained that the Greek-speaking widows were not given their share when the food supplies were handed out each day. The twelve apostles called the whole group of followers together and said, "We should not give up preaching God's message in order to serve at tables." (vv. 1-2)
Had there been an excess of the masculine spirit, the apostles might have said "We should not give up preaching God's message in order to serve at tables. We've got to focus! So let's stop feeding the widows. This will give us more time to do the task that Jesus gave us. After alll, we've got a world to convert." As a result, you'd have starving widows. Obviously, a bad choice.
Had there been an excess of the feminine spirit, the aposltes might have said, "We should not give up preaching God's message in order to serve at tables. However, the widows have become accustomed to having us wait on them, and to stop now would hurt their feelings. Therefore, we will do both. We will preach and wait on tables." The apostles would have been distracted from their core responsibility: hearing from God and expanding the church.
How did the apostles respond to this leadership challenge?
"My friends, choose seven men who are respected and wise and filled with God's spirit. We will put them in charge of these things. We can spend our time praying and serving God by preaching." This suggestion pleased everyone. (vv 3-5)
If we want to make the church magnetic to men again, we must allow our pastors to follow the eample of the apostles. Here's where you come in. Christian, allow your pastor to delegate responsiblity to godly people in the congregation. Great leadership takes time, but most pastors do not have as much time as they'd like for these important tasks. Why? Because we expect a lot of them. We have placed so many demands on our pastors that they have no time to lead us. Oftentimes when ministers try to delegate tasks, the people object. This is especially true in small churches. Like the widows in Acts 6, we've become accustomed to the pastor personally ministering to us. We see him as God's representative on earth. His prayers are more powerful and his insight more keen. His presence lends prestige to a meeting.
God forgive us. We need to get over this!
When we treat our pastors like personal chaplains, expecting them to drop everything and pay attention to us, we distract them from their most important God-given responsibility: leading the church. Here are some specific ways you can help your pastor:
- Demand less of your pastor
- Don't drop in on him. Make an appointment. Respect his time.
- Don't fill his calendar. Instead, make it your goal to relieve him of as many responsibilities as possible so he's free to lead the body courageously.
- Stop thinking of him as the minister. You are the minister; he is your coach (Pastors - read our Leadership Development article this month!)
- Allow him to delegate responsibility to godly people in your congregation.
- Train lay ministers in your congregation to pray with the sick and visit people in their homes. Don't expect the pastor to do this time-consuming ministry alone.
- Don't be disappointed when you receive ministry from a layperson instead of the pastor.
- Don't expect home visitation. Instead, volunteer to do the visitation for him.
- Don't expect him to show up to every meeting. Give him the night off.
- Let him know you want him to be a bold, courageous leader. Encourage him to dream.
What do you get in return? A pastor who has time to pray and seek God. A pastor who has time to dream big and to pursue Christ's vision for the congregation. A pastor who has time to love his family well. Know this: there is nothing more magnetic to men than a pastor who is led by God. Look at what happened after the apostles delgated their table-waiting duties. Acts 6:7 (CEV) tells us that "God's message spread, and many more people in Jerusalem became followers. Even a large number of priests put their faith in the Lord."
The apostles had time to focus on their core responsibility because the early church allowed them to. They were able to challenge the world with the gospel, and many men came to Christ because of it. And the widows? They got even better care.
Read the other articles in this issue:
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