August 2007
Understanding Men by David Murrow 
(excerpts from the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church")
The Pursuit of Manhood: His Greatest Quest
Why do men act so macho? Why do they avoid anything associated with femininity? Why do so many men cultivate a dangerous image instead of a warm, friendly one? This is not a recent development. Masculinity has been of paramount importance to men for thousands of years. Without masculinity there would be no civilization as we know it.
Masculinity: Key to Survival of the Human Race
Every society needs people to do the dangerous jobs. Throughout human history, someone has had to fight the battles, travel long distances without the comforts of home, and hunt down dangerous animals. Today we need people to work in mines, fight in wars, and rush into burning buildings. We need people to catch the bad guys and rescue lost children.
Men have always done the dangerous jobs, and they still do them. Today 94 percent of occupational deaths occur to men. Men also do a disproportionate share of dying for their country. If any civilization is to survive and prosper, it needs men who will act like men when the need arises. But how do we convince men to sacrifice themselves or keep him from running away when an animal tries to kill him? The answer is masculinity.
What is Masculinity?
Masculinity is an informal code imposed on all the men of the tribe. In order to be accepted as a man, one must stand up to danger, bear up under suffering, and sacrifice oneself for the good of others. This code of conduct helps him overcome his natural instincts (fear, hunger, loneliness, etc.) so he will do what's best for the tribe, not for himself.
If a man fails to be brave, stoic, or self-sacrificing, he's branded a coward and becomes an outcast. He suffers total rejection. This may seem cruel, but remember, the survival of the tribe depended on men who would fulfill their roles. From this perspective, men are preoccupied with machismo because society demands that they be masculine. When a young man does risky things, he's just practicing for the day when he may be called to risk everything to save his family or his country. But here's the rub: masculinity isn't something you switch on and off. And manhood is something a man earns.
Church: A Woman's Destination
Anyplace women hang out is a woman's destination in the minds of men. And a man who spends any more time than is absolutely necessary in these precincts is calling his manhood into question. Men deal with church as they would any other women's thing: they choose not to go, or they go with reluctance, projecting an air of disinterest or mild hostility during the entire service. Once it's over, they scoot out the door as fast as they can. And millions of men who do attend church never speak of it in public - especially among other men. They're embarassed - not because of Christ, but because churchgoing implies that a man is feminine.
The Point
This brings up two very important questions: Did Christ intend for men to give up their masculinity to follow Him? Is giving up one's manhood part of the cost of following Jesus Christ? No, and no again! Christ did not come to make men more feminine; He came to restore them to real manhood. There is no indication from Scripture that emasculation is a requirement of the Christian walk. Men must give up many things to follow Jeus. Manhood is not on the list.
But men do not realize this. Millions of men worldwide perceive the church to be feminine, and what they encounter on Sunday morning only confirms their worst fears.
Read the other articles in this issue:
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