September 2007
Understanding Men by David Murrow 
(excerpts from the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church")
Men are Afraid...Very Afraid - Part 1
In general, men and women fear different things. In this article I'll identify several things men fear and show you what an individual Christian can do to help the men who show up on Sunday.
Men Fear Incompetence
Men hate to be outshone by women, but it happens all the time in church. Because men are not as studious as women, they often lack the Bible knowledge and Christian vocabulary it takes to shine in an evangelical church.
Why aren't men becoming competent Christians? As I said earlier, the path to Christ now leads through a classroom. Study. Read. Learn. Attend classes. Acquire knowledge. Perfect your theology. It's a path few men are willing to walk, unless they happen to be the studious type.
Men are Afraid to Sing in Public
If you're going to be a Christian, you'd better like to sing. Christians rarely gather without breaking into song. Yet many men feel incompetent singing aloud unless they have a voice like Pavarotti's. The only place men sing together is a masculine venue. They'll sing the national anthem at a baseball game; men in military formation sing in deep cadence.
I'm convinced there are a million unchurched men who would attend a worship service this weekend if they just didn't have to sing. Pastor Robert Lewis dropped singing from his Men's Fraternity gatherings and attendance leaped.
Men are Afraid of the Christian Lifestyle
Many non-Christians fear that if they start going to church, they might have to adopt a boring, straitlaced lifestyle, like the one lived by Ned Flanders, a character on the animated sitcom The Simpsons. A common fear among men is that Christianity will turn them into a nerd or a nut. Other men see Christianity as the end of fun and challenge. No man wants to become a Ned Flanders. Fortunately, this barrier often falls away when a man meets Christians who are engaged with the world and enjoying life.
Men Fear They Will Have to Check Their Minds at the Door
Well-educated people, and men in particular, have a hard time taking things on faith. Many men object to the anti-intellectual, antiquestion atmosphere in some churches. Other churches have set up modern science as a bogeyman, and they spend as much time trashing scientific theory as they do preaching the gospel.
You don't have to abandon biblical orthodoxy to attract men. Well-educated men want a church where God is real, but not one that treats science as an enemy. They want a church where they can ask questions and challenge the party line. The balancing act is to allow for differences in interpretation without slipping into outright heresy. Proclaim the truth with boldness, but do not make people feel evil or dumb for disagreeing. Conservative churches: let men ask uncomfortable questions, and resist the urge to promote a science versus God sideshow.
We'll continue with more of the things men fear next month.
Read the other articles in this issue:
|