November 2009
Understanding Manhood:What Men Want Most 
(excerpts from "The Ultimate Men’s Ministry Encyclopedia" by Jim Grassi )
“Give men what they need…
in the context of what they want…
delivered in a system that produces results…
and you will have accomplished much”
writes Jim Grassi in The Ultimate Men’s Ministry Encyclopedia. Notice that the first part of this passage says, “Give men what they need in the context of what they want.” So what is it that men want that helps us determine a context, so we can give them what they actually need? Grassi has some ideas that can help us:
- A cause that they can give their lives to that will make a difference—a mission that has significance, meaning, and purpose.
- A companion to share it with—relationships, love, wife, family, friends, and acceptance.
- A conviction that gives a reasonable explanation for why the first and second are so different—a belief system, worldview, philosophy, or religion.
- To this list this author adds:
- A communication system that helps them become more transparent and open to understand their loved ones and associates—words and actions that transmit a blessing to others.
- A common goal that binds like-hearted men together—vision, business plan, and strategies that bring men together for experience, action, and growth.
- A church that is real and connected to their souls—pastors and congregations are needed that see men in light of their passions, interests, problems, and concerns. Men need places where burdens are unloaded, hope provided, and grace given.
- A Christian experience where the fruit of the Spirit and joys of their faith can be felt through an understanding that these rewards are only found when men are willing to suffer with Christ through self-denial, obedience, testing, self-sacrifice, and surrender.
- A group of partners who will surround them with unconditional love and support: people who are willing to “watch their backs,” tell them the truth in a loving way, and those who model Christ’s love in a way that helps them feel protected and safe even when the walls of life come tumbling down around them.
- A wife and family that provide a supportive environment where men can become renewed and restored. Men thrive in an environment of love and mutual respect. In the end, one of the most cherished things any man can ever experience is knowing his family respects him.
This laundry-list of men’s inner-wants can help leaders determine different ways in which to attract, engage, and release men as viable soldiers for the Kingdom of God in their church and communities. So often we dream-up programs and events that we think are going to attract men, only to find that only a handful show up. What if we seriously considered Grassi’s list of men’s wants and decided to build these things into and around the lives of the men we minister to? The results could be interesting…
Read the other articles in this issue:
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