December 2008
Understanding Men by David Murrow 
(excerpts from the book "Why Men Hate Going to Church")
Teaching and the Masculine Spirit - Part 2
There's a lot of teaching going on in church, but not much learning. Last issue we talked about some great ways to teach men. This issue, we'll look at ways to meet men's needs in teaching.
Men Need Dialogue, Give-and-Take, a Chance to Argue
Woody Davis says, "Men enjoy and value argumentation. If you don't believe it, go to the local cafe where men gather to solve the world's problems. Listen to their conversation and notice the give and take, the challenge and response." But in church we offer lectures because we can restrict what is said to acceptable Christian themes. Even if we do have discussion, we often shy away from frank, salty debate, because people might get upset. Instead, we give people answers because we think it promotes unity. But men find this boring - and so do many women.
Men Need Simple, One-Point Lessons (and Sermons)
The U.S. Army has been training a mostly male fighting force for more than two hundred years. Their method: tell them what you're going to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you told them. It's often more effective with men to make one point thrice than to make three points once.
Men have an attention span of six to eight minutes, yet the average Protestant sermon is more than thirty minutes in length. It has three main points and sometimes more. If you really want to attract more men, paint this on your sign: HOME OF THE 10-MINUTE SERMON. Break your message into a five-minute Scripture lesson, a five-minute object lesson, and a ten-minute sermon, with other elements in between. Make the same point using three different approaches. You still get your twenty minutes, but you honor men's shorter attention span. End your message with concreate action items or an optional discusion for those who want to stick around.
Men Appreciate Forthrightness
Many teachers feel that every word out of a Christians mouth must be sweet as honey, carefully considered so that no one's feelings are bruised. But men appreciate forthrightness and honesty. They respect a teacher who tells it like it is and doesn't beat around the bush. They want to get right to the point and are not impressed by diplomatic language. Teach as Jesus did: be direct and to the point!
Men Need Challenging Teaching
Men appreciate a challenging, direct message that prods them to action. Generally speaking, the more frank and hardhitting the teaching, the more men like it - as long as it doesn't stray into condemnation or moralism. The key is to speak the truth in love. Jesus loved people enough to challenge them. Teachers, do likewise.
Men Need the Unexpected
The Bible says of Jesus: the people were astonished and amazed at His teaching. When was the last time you were astonished in church? Men need to be amazed by God, but our liturgies and rituals have made Him utterly predictable. No wonder men find church so boring. My advice: do the unexpected. Break something. Pretend something's gone wrong. Do a card trick. Take them outside. Light something on fire (not inside the church of course). Play part of a video. Challenge the party line. Astonish men, and watch them lock in.
Men Need Great Stories
Larry Crabb laments, "We are a generation of men without stories.... we don't know who we are, why we are here or where we are going." For centuries men have learned heroism and self-sacrifice through great stories, which they stored in their hearts as boys. If we want our young men to be courageous followers of Christ, we must tell them stories of people following Christ courageously. Young men see Christianity as a religion, not an adventure.
Where do today's men get their stories? The cinema! Every good film has a big story behind it: a tale of selfless love, forgivenss, redemption, or heroic sacrifice. Teach men to identify the gospel hidden in the movies they watch. Train your men to spot the Christ-figure who appears in many films. (He's the one who sacrifices himself so others can live.) Films can help men make sense of their world if they know how to interpret what they're watching.
When teaching boys, don't avoid the gross-out stories in the Bible. I believe God tucked these tales into the Bible just for preadolescent boys. Yet many Sunday School teachers avoid these accounts because they're too violent. Then we wonder why boys read Harry Potter instead of their Bibles.
Read the other articles in this issue:
Learn more about our FREE 45 day "Quick Start" program. Contact us today!
|
